badassery & asshattery : Lyudmila Pavlichenko


all quiet on the western front
so you know there’s trouble brewing

I haven’t written much about our little local ladies’ eight-ball tournament lately. This is not due to there being nothing to write about. In fact, there was much unpleasantness to write about, but I chose to refrain from writing about it (I was trying to be good — we all know how that always works out).

Let me summarize this all as best as I can:

A non-local player shows up to two of the tournaments and is ridiculously rude to everyone in the tournament while boasting of how great and famous a player she is. She tells us she sells posters of herself and is known everywhere she goes (never mind that we had never heard of her). In addition, she tells us she has backers lined up to put her in tournaments and money games.

She goes 0-2 in the first tournament and 1-2 in the second.

I find out that she is, indeed, very well-known — on the internet. She’s recently involved herself with that wonderful online forum known as AZ Billiards where she has developed a strong following. She also seems to like to disparage women players. I’ve excerpted some of her more interesting comments (links go to complete screenshots of her posts so their mind-boggling magnificence and suave spelling variations may be preserved for posterity):


Mmm I have in the past put money in my bra but actually. I don’t pay for to many things usually so most my money is in my purse getting dusty. Then again that’s the point of a stake guy for me not to worry about money. [original post]


Usually I do a combination depends on my mood there has been time were I play people 50$ a game me one handed or left handed for odd things like DVD players to were I just sit there drinking wine playing darts like there is no pool table. [original post]


mmm me lol just kiting lol this girl i played In a tournament in Santa Monica about two a weeks ago. To bad she can only make about 3 balls at a time but man was she hot lol. Sadly the average fem players is not a looker lol [original post]


I love to see more attractive girls playing pool, yes granted most of them are going to suck but that’s ok i will beat them anyway lol just like i beat the men. But seriously most players suck period,men to. [original post]


Yes i made it to AZ wohoooo just came from pool tournament Got 4th dam it don’t feel good not to win, my first match was an ex pro pool player who I last saw at another pool hall years ago as they were all exited about this person wining 20 grand lol. So it was nice first easy match lol. [original post]


But is hard to resist the $75 -120 tournaments that come up once in a wile like the swany. Specially since a lot of the time someone wants to pay my way in. To turn down backers is a hard thing to do. [original post]


If you must know that picture was taken for a poster that should come out in December. [original post]


-Yes pool makes me money I have backers and do play money games if need be and easy tournaments if I really need money. [original post]


Well, shiver me timbers! This girl’s pretty badass, eh? Anyone who talks that much (incoherent) s— about pool players (both men and women — but she’s seriously catty towards the chicks) has GOT to be Efren Reyes, Willie Mosconi, and Zeus all rolled into one.

To be honest, I never have really seen her play other than in one or two matches in our little rinky-dink eight-ball tournament. She could be a secret world champion and I wouldn’t know. She could have the draw stroke of a paraplegic gerbil and I wouldn’t know either. I did know one thing: her attempts to snub, put down, and intimidate the other players in the tournament did not sit well with me at all.

So, I asked this mighty titaness of the felt to play:

put it on the light and let's go

With my polite request, things were off and running ( It makes for good reading to while away the time if you’re bored.

There are many speculations as to why I am requesting to play The Mary Avina.

Because of jealousy!
Hardly. There ain’t nothin’ to be jealous of.

Because of money!
Hardly. The general consensus seems to be that Mary doesn’t have the backers she speaks of, though if she does, that would be just peachy.

Because she’s cheapening the genuine efforts of serious women pool players all over the world who are committed to achieving renown through excellence of play and intensity of dedication rather than amateurish photography and playing men like fiddles!
That’s half of it…

Because no one bullies my friends and gets away with it — especially if they’re a fraud!
…and there’s the other half.



in the meantime
while we await a response

The Mary Avina has inspired me to do a new feature series on this blog due to her aggressive efforts at self-promoting her badass image. I once read, “…the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism.” Real heroes don’t cram their coolness down peoples’ throats. They don’t have to.

In honor of the aforementioned asshattery I’ve had the misfortune to experience, I present to you all, REAL badass chicks.

Each week, I will post up a short summary and links to more information about a different badass babe. Huge thanks go out to the blog Badass of the Week (where you can read about LOTS of badass men and women some real, some fictional, all with plenty of cussing) from which I have made my selections. The author of Badass of the Week has also come out with a book about badasses. It’ll make a great Christmas gift for someone (or perhaps a pet) in your life.


Lyudmila Pavlichenko

bitch I will shoot you

Excerpt from Badass of the Week:

A lot of countries out there are missing out on approximately 50% of their untapped badassery potential by not letting women into their military combat arms.  I know a lot of folks out there are all like “OMG d00d WTF ROTFLOL chicks with guns YAH R1GHT ORLY SRSLY”, but what those jerks don’t get is that there are women out there like Lyudmilia Pavlichenko who are just as adept at jamming a high-caliber bullet into your eye as even the most badass dude is.

[read the complete Badass of the Week article]


Excerpt from Wikipedia (in case you don’t find Badass of the Week’s writing style amusing):

Lyudmila Mikhailivna Pavlichenko (Ukrainian: Людмила Михайлівна Павліченко; Russian: Людмила Михайловна Павличенко Lyudmila Mikhailovna Pavlichenko) (July 12, 1916October 10, 1974) was a Soviet sniper during World War II, credited with 309 kills, and is regarded as the greatest female sniper in history.

[read the complete Wikipedia entry]



for the pool players who believe merit is more important than marketing
this post is for you



17 Replies to “badassery & asshattery : Lyudmila Pavlichenko”

  1. Well said!! Some of the best Marines I have served with were women.

    As for the Mary nightmare, I came… I read… I got dizzy.
    I’m thinking she’s bipolar or something. Or just isn’t proud of who she is and needs to pump herself up to sleep at night.
    My son has much the same problem. Never an honest answer and insists on boasting.

    1. It’s Veteran’s Day! Thank you, Doug, and all in the armed forces who read this for serving this great country and making sure bloggers like me can continue aggravating the populace. 🙂

  2. the match is a non-issue. it won’t happen. however, how many a~*s do you encounter a day? are you going to take them all on? i lose count how many pinheads i see at pool halls (guys and girls), but people say/do dumb things every second. is this going to become some sort of personal crusade? if so, you’ll be fighting this never-ending war for the rest of your life, and long after you leave this earth.

    everyday i drive i can bet good $$$ that there will be at least one rude person to cut me off for no reason. i’m not sure what good it’ll do if i chase every single one of the down.

    i believe your cue should do the only talking, but that doesn’t mean every pool player will agree with that viewpoint (look at minnesota fats). there’s merit to letting some things go.

    if you do decide to fight pinheads for the rest of your life (kind of pointless, really), try getting sponsorship from red bull or coffee bean. you’ll need it.

    1. I do not know what it is like to be cut off while driving and you do not know what it is like to be a highly driven and competitive female pool player who strives to earn her place with the greatest through hard work and sacrifice.

  3. After reading so many of Mary’s posts, all I can say is OMGWTF (not a pun but in it’s true sense). IMO you could not have asked more politely and gotten a more egotistical reply. If it goes down, my money is on you!

    1. I think the chances of the match happening are close to zero — but you never know. She will probably surprise us all when we least expect it. 🙂

  4. I don’t care if there is ever a match or not. As far as I ‘m concerned, we are all winners in this because you changed the focus of that completely inane thread on azb. Thank you!

      1. She probably can’t make 3 balls but I bet she can shoot the crap outta them with a bullet from half a mile away. 😉

  5. I don’t have time to read blogs online, but my boy and I were/are contemplating starting one for pool leagues, tournaments, profiles of players, etc. in our area (I’d love any advice on it!). In any event, I had some downtime between matches during our BCA playoffs on Wednesday and used the trusty ole BlackBerry to look up billiards blogs. I found yours as a favorite or someone else, and I’ve been reading non-stop since then. I love your literary insight (as a former English Linguistics/ESL major) and wit. Keep it up; I certainly plan to become a follower!

    PS…thanks for TMA postings; just got my Master’s in ESL and am wondering how I can help this soul with her spelling and syntactic issues.


  6. Ha ha: I found yours as a favorite OF someone else! Talk about the syntax comment backfiring. Pride comes before a fall, one of the truest Proverbs there is.

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