Fun : 112-222 of 333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Walmart

t h a n k s
Predator5k4

for restoring my faith in humanity
your timing is impeccable
“that’s what SHE said”
(Hee hee hee! I couldn’t resist…)

	Facebook is taking over the world
	You may or may not recognize “Critter” from my pool travels. He now has a fan page (how vain!) on Facebook. You can see pictures of all the nouns (persons, places, and things) he’s encountered. There are still more photographs to be uploaded, but what’s on there now can amuse you for at least a half-hour. Friend away!

I was out of commission yesterday, but as promised, let us continue…

Reasons 112-222 of 333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Walmart
test these reasons at your own risk, I’m not responsible for your results…

112. Grab some pampers Pull-Ups and while buying them yell at the clerk “Mommy, guess what? I’m a big kid now!!”

113. Go into the bedding department and with cookies in your hand lay on a bed then pretend ur having a nightmare about cookies and yell ” COOKIE!! COOKIE!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!” Then start rolling around

114. Make evil eyes at someone and start whispering, “I’m the little girl from the well… I’ve been waiting…”

115. Go to the cafeteria area and buy frys. Then stand by the door and when people walk through throw the frys above their head like there getting married

116. look at old people with wide eyes saying, “I see dead people!”

117. Get a tent ( With holes preferably ) and tell people to come in your lair. When they do chuck popcorn at them and ask them who invited them in

118. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like “Cheerio, good man.” to people who walk by. And don’t forget to have perfect posture.

119. Chase your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don’t know you.

120. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if you on a horse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc. And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.

121. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and “accidentally” hit the people instead of your friend.

122. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

123. Walk up to the customer service and when they say “Hello, how may I help you?” say “Yes, I’ll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke.” And when they start to talk, say “Oh, to go”. Then when they say that they can’t give it to you say “Oh, This is because I’m gay isn’t it? I’d expect this from McDonalds, but not Walmart

124. Get popcorn and throw at customers, sneaking up on them in an un stealth-like way, while yelling random things 125. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.

126. When your alone, have loud conversations with your “multiple personalities”. Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents.

127. Start “dancing” like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure.

128. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.

129. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn’t go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who’s watching and run away as fast as you can.

130. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.

131. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don’t look away, just stay mesmerized.

132. Light a match under a sprinkler

133. Walk up to someone and say “Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun”. Then walk away.

134. Buy something that is like $5 and give the cashier all pennies.

135. Walk up to a guy and say “Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!!!” Then kiss him. Then slap and him say “Why didn’t you ever call me??” Then walk away. Much more affective if you’re a guy.

136. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. “Finally, my shift is done. I really don’t get paid enough to do this”

137. Stare at the ceiling. See how many people look up.

138. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.

139. start hitting on the mannequins.

140. Super-glue a quarter to the floor and count how many people try to pick it up.

141. Switch the price tags with something expensive and something really cheap.

142. Put women’s clothes into men’s carts.

143. Put preppy stuff, like short skirts and whatnot, into old men’s carts when they aren’t looking.

144. Run around in front of a mirror screaming “COPYCAT!”

145. Bring a friend and a stopwatch. Get carts and race around. every time you nock something over, subtract a second from your time. You usually get kicked out before you figure out who won.

146. Find a couple. Run up to the one who is an opposite gender from you, slap them, and say “WHAT IS THIS? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!!”

147. Go up to an assistant and ask for mayonnaise. When they say they don’t have it, start crying and scream, “Now how am I supposed to paint my toenails?!?”

148. Lay on the floor and do a ground angel

149. Steal their ketchup, go on the counter, smear ketchup all over you and say HELP ME HELP ME! OMG! THE HOTDOG KILLED ME!

150. Start jumping on one of their beds attempt to fall asleep until one guy tells you to get off. Then yell ‘HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM MY BED!!!!”

151. Run around switching all of the open signs on the cash registers to closed and all of the closed signs to open. Watch the customers get confused.

152. Ask for Goat Milk

153. Make sure somebody’s in the same aisle, then run screaming into a wall. Fall down and say “AHHH! The pain, the horrible, terrible pain!” Until someone asks if you’re alright. When they do, get up and say, “Yes, I’m fine, why?” And then walk away calmly like nothing happened.

154. Dress up as an emo kid, then scream at people, “WHY HAVE YOU COME TO WORSEN MY MISERY?!”

155. Dress up as a ninja and go around the store karate chopping people

156. Ride a horse on a stick toy thing and have your friend pull you around the store on a skateboard while you scream, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”

157. Turn a cart over and put towels over it so they can’t see in. when someone starts to open it, start yelling “Hey, I’m Using the Bathroom in here!!!”

158. Buy a chocolate bar, go to the bathroom, smear chocolate on your hand, reach under the next stall and ask, “Can I have some toilet paper?”

159. Take a fishing pole, tie it to a dollar, and go fishing for humans!

160. Climb up to one of the really high shelves and start singing Christmas carols at the top of your lungs. Works better around summer.

161. Get a mirror and put it on top of a cart so it lay across it. Get on top and have someone push you down an isle, and Sing “Surfin’ USA”

162. When the intercom comes on, fall on your knees and scream in tears of joy, “God has spoken!!!”

163. Get on a bike and ride around and crash into everything and everyone who gets in your way.

164. Pour a bunch of lemonade from the entrance to the bathroom and come out saying someone should have told me where the bathroom was quicker!

165. Steal guns and ammo and shoot all the TV’s you can find. whoever blows up most wins

166. Get an umbrella and have someone in a cart (or just a tall person) pour water on it while you sing Raindrops Are Fallin’ On My Head.

167. Call the front desk and when they answer the phone say I’m sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again. Then call and say I’m sorry, I will have to put you on hold. Can you call back? I’m busy on isle 3.

168. Go into one of those employees only doors and go behind some food shelves. when people reach out to grab food, grab their arm and start to pull on it.

169. eat all the ice cream boxes and then blame it on a worker with ice cream all over your face

170. Pour carrots on the floor so the employees have to pick it up. Continue doing it for a long period of time.

171. Skate around on a skateboard, then fall over and pretend to break your leg.

172. Start playing the violin.

173. Stare at a blank T.V, for an hour and when somebody asks what your doing, answer, “Shh, this is my favorite show!”

174. Stand on the conveyor belt at the check out with a barcode on your forehead.

175. Start saying stuff like argetrargrehargenstartgen to everyone who walks in.

176. walk around in dirty cloths and eat all the produce lika a bum

177. Poke people and run away screaming, “Don’t touch me!!!”

178. Stare at people for a minute and then smile at them happily

179. Beat your chest and run around screaming like Tarzan.

180. Throw stuff on the floor and start yelling at an imaginary friend.

181. Shoot spitwads at people and then fall on the ground laughing hysterically

182. Go into a bathroom that is of the opposite gender of yourself and open the stalls saying, “Ooh la la!”

183. Walk up to random people, give them a hug, and say, “I love you!”

184. Dress up as an old man and start stealing stuff

185. Start a fire, then sit around it with your friends in Indian clothes.

186. Walk around in a court jester costume

187. Run at people with a pitch fork

188. Pretend that you’re having a heart attack

189. Throw tomatoes at people and then tackle them

190. Get on the intercom and calmly say, “Attention shoppers. I would like to inform you that the world is about to end, and that there’s a sale on isle two.”

191. Buy a carton of vanilla ice cream, run up to the cash register, tell the cashier you forgot your money, then start dancing like Napoleon Dynamite, screaming, “Where’s my chap stick?!”

192. Pretend to be Spiderman by running up walls and trying to save people

193. Claim isle three as your ‘Secret Lair’

194. Run around the store singing the My Little Pony theme song as loud as you can.

195. Get a giant Christmas stocking and hop around in it like it’s a potato sack on field day

196. Build a wall out of stuffed animals

197. Put on a cape and run around singing the Phantom of the Opera

198. Yell curse words at people

199. Knock down as many displays as you can

200. Go up to a random old guy with white hair and say, “I want Bratz for Christmas! Thank you Santa!” and then give him a hug and run away.

201. Dress up in a super villain costume and then go around the store yelling, “MARRY ME!” to random people

202. Go up to a tough looking guy and push him and say you wanna fight? And when he pushes back start to cry and run away

203. Point to a cash register and ask the cashier, “How much is that?”

204. Get a tent and campout with the Barbie dolls in the toy isle

205. Chew gum loudly in people’s faces

206. Throw a poke-ball at someone and yell, “PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!”

207. Turn on all the flashlights, hang them from the ceiling, stand under them, scatter confetti at your feet, and start singing, using a Barbie as a microphone.

208. Play baseball in the middle of the store, then score a home run and run around the store screaming.

209. Flirt with someone, plan a date, and then break up with them, all in 10 minutes.

210. Get a cart and pile it high with items. When the cashier tells you the price, exclaim, “What a rip off!” And walk out of the store.

211. Start singing, “Tinkle, tinkle, little star! In a toilet that’s real far! Up above us in the sky! It’s weird to learn that pee does fly! Make sure it does never land! In my, my, my, my, my hand!”

212. Find all the beans you can and put them in your cart, and then tell random people that it’s your breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next couple years.

213. Pay for your stuff with all pennies, and then come up one too short.

214. Scream, “Look! Someone’s stealing an old lady’s purse!” and when they look away, take all the stuff in their cart and throw it around the store shouting “I’m a terrorist!”

215. Run out of the dressing room screaming, “Michael Jackson has my dad!”

216. Go to the pet isle. Point to a fish and say, “I’ll have that one. And that one. And that one…” Keep going until you’ve pointed to every fish they have in stock

217. Tap dance through the store

218. Change the music on the intercom to Mexican

219. Rip open every package you see

220. Get on a bike and have your friend chase you. Pretend you are going to run over somebody and then move out the way.

221. Stand in front of the security camera and pretend to die (dramatically)

222. Scream “SECURITY!” as loud as you can. When they come up act all panicky and say “This is really important!” Then smile and say, “Hi.”

Tune in next week for the rest…