everybody wants to rule the world


mayonnaise + pate

  • Vietnamese sandwiches (banh mi) were bestowed upon all
  • beverage choices included beer, beer, sparkling wine (almost killed someone with the cork), regular wine, beer
  • there was an interesting bag of “shrimp chips” that proudly declared themselves to be “only 1% MSG!”
  • we played a nice team of nice people
  • we won 4 matches and lost 1
  • ’twas a pleasant evening devoid of shenanigans


beautiful banh mi beautiful people boobs make the best pillow corgi puppy!


sushi + beer

  • we get a giant order of edamame
  • our captain had never had edamame before
  • she is now addicted to edamame
  • pitcher of newcastle
  • pitcher of bud light
  • watch my teammate (who is a model) blank her opponent
  • throw some Depeche Mode and Cure on the jukebox
  • watch my teammate (who loves 80s music) blank her opponent while singing
  • opposing team grumbles louder than my stomach when I’m trying to get a bankroll together
  • teammate arrives with new Corgi puppy (just 7 weeks old! squee!)   


  • throw some David Bowie, Pet Shop Boys, and Erasure on the jukebox
  • watch teammate lose a valiant battle against player from opposing team who flails arms on every shot
  • sigh
  • throw some Tears For Fears and various one-hit wonders on the jukebox
  • watch teammate terrorize opposing player
  • giggle
  • during my match (spotting 2 games on the wire to 5), opposing team captain says to my team captain condescendingly, “You should probably tell your player she needs to keep one foot flat on the floor.” “What? She did have a foot on the floor.” “No, it has to be FLAT on the floor, or it’s a foul.” “Do you have the rule book with you?” “No.” “Then go home after this is over, look it up in the rule book, and SHOW ME where it says you need to have one foot FLAT on the floor.” “Well, that’s what I’ve been told.” “Then you were told wrong.” The opposing team captain smiles and says even more condescendingly, “If that’s not the rule, then what are bridges for?”
  • lots of sharking during my match
  • seriously serious annoyingly annoying
  • my team captain goes and stands by the opposing team’s table armed with Glare of Death
  • sharking decreases dramatically
  • still lose hill-hill
  • sigh
  • woof at opposing player out of gargantuan levels of annoyance*
  • opposing player declines
  • watch teammates woof at opposing player and offer him handicap
  • opposing player declines
  • find this incredibly amusing
  • secretly wonder with a tinge of fear, “What have I created?”
  • opposing team captain says to me, “Will you play him for $500?”
  • maintain neutral expression: “Okay.”
  • “Oh. Ha. I was kidding.”
  • “I wasn’t.”   

    play for blood

* do not attempt on your own, I am a professionally trained hot-headed ignoramus and am completely willing to suffer the consequences


9 Replies to “everybody wants to rule the world”

  1. Welcome to your life
    There’s no turning back
    Even while we sleep
    We will find you
    Acting on your best behaviour
    Turn your back on mother nature

    1. Something happens and I’m head over heels
      I never find out until I’m head over heels
      Something happens and I’m head over heels
      Ah, don’t take my heart
      Don’t break my heart
      Don’t throw it away

  2. Yum, yum.
    bánh mì thịt nguội, sometimes known as bánh mì đặc biệt

    Extra jalapenos and head cheese….please.

    1. I believe it says I can step on the toes of people who think I have to have one foot flat on the floor.

  3. You should have told the captain about the rule that if you propose a big bet and someone accepts then you say you were kidding you have to stand there with both feet flat on the ground and receive one solid bitch slap.

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