one non-blonde


hey, what’s going on?

Although I have lived in this city for a decent amount of time, I’ve never visited the greatest metaphor for what billiards can do to your life.

But first, some macaroni and cheese.

[angelic choir sings]

contains macaroni, three different cheeses, and bacon


That was delicious.

Off we go.


La Brea Tar Pits

The tar pits smelled like a freshly paved road or a newly mended roof. Those are fiberglass reproductions of the last moments of a mastodon (Mammut americanum) as it sinks into the asphalt. The liquid you are seeing is water that has settled on top of the tar. Animals would come to drink the water, fall in through accident, carelessness, or attack from another animal, and become trapped.

Do not attempt. I am a trained stuffed animal on a staged scene with the support of many handlers. Standing on a guardrail over a tar pit may result in death and fossilization.

There is constant bubbling on the surface of the tar pits from natural methane gas seeping up through the tar. Every once in a while, there’s a particularly large bubble that bursts with impressive noise. Even the Earth needs to burp and pass gas.


The George C. Page Museum is located at the tar pits and shows the history of the tar pits as well as fossils recovered from them.

This is an Antique Bison (Bison antiquus) skeleton. Prehistoric bison were up to 25% larger than their modern descendants.

Now with 25% more meat!


These are skeletons of the Dire Wolf (Canis dirus). Although the Dire Wolf is closely related to the modern Gray Wolf, it does not have any direct modern descendants.

Dire Wolf is dire.

In other news of the world, the Grateful Dead have a song named “Dire Wolf” and they also make an appearance in the popular novel (and now, HBO Series) A Game of Thrones. The dire wolves, that is. Not the Grateful Dead.

Thousands of dire wolf fossils have been recovered from the tar pits. The museum has an a display comprised of 440 dire wolf skulls, which is just a fraction of what they have found.

You could see all the individual variations in the skulls. Really an interesting display.


When I first saw these Imperial Mammoth (Mammuthus imperator) teeth, it didn’t register that the larger one was a grown-up version of the smaller one. The big molar was just so — big.


This is the “Goldfish Bowl”, a work area for tar pit researchers and volunteers. Visitors to the museum can watch work being done on fossils. That large bundle in the middle partially covered by plaster is the skull of a mammoth which the museum has named “Zed”. Those two things that look like the bottom treads of a large pair of moon boots are the molars(!).


Each fossil, whether it be whole or a fragment, is meticulously cleaned, catalogued, and stored. I was amused by the jar on the upper left — it’s an empty Maille Old Style mustard jar. That’s my favorite kind of mustard and it must be a researcher’s favorite, too — there were quite a few scattered around the Goldfish Bowl.

Looks like tedious work.

The Ossuary is a temperature- and humidity-controlled storage room for bones.

We exited through the gift shop (of course) and there was one great t-shirt that read, “What happens at the Tar Pits, stays in the Tar Pits.



Griddle Me This

Oh, hello.

I’m just going to leave these pictures of a waffle topped with fresh strawberries, creme fraiche and powdered sugar right here.

It's as delicious as it looks.

Oh, you didn't want a close-up? My bad.


Obsolete: Cocktail Napkins & Cigarette Boxes

Pool nuts always use the nearest rectangular object at hand to illustrate our shots. Now, you don’t have to draw lines on a napkin or point out imaginary pockets on a cigarette box — you can use a Shot Pad for your pool stories! Best part is, you will be less like to use or throw away your newfound canvas (unlike cocktail napkins and cigarette boxes).

Write your own instructional book! 40 pages per booklet.

These easy-to-use notebooks have 40 pages each and let you document and record shots for practice, lessons, or fish stories. They fit easily into cue case accessories pockets and purses.

I have a just a few trial-size sets of four Shot Pads for $12.00 (includes U.S. shipping) for sale, snap them up while you can. The proceeds will be going towards my upcoming tournaments.

  Set of 4 Shot Pads for $12.00

You may also purchase Shot Pads in increments of one, 10, and 100, directly from the Shot Pad website.


Coming Soon

First in a new series to be posted next week.


Just send it!

11 Replies to “one non-blonde”

  1. Serious? That was your first time visiting the Tar Pits?? Love that place! Plus, its like right around the corner from LACMA, which kicketh much ass. We took the kids there last year for their first visit when we were in town visiting the ‘rents. Glad to see they’re still hard at work trying to put old Zed back together.

    1. Unfortunately, they closed LACMA West earlier this year — so I think that means the museum is now half as big. 🙁

    1. Actually, you fall (or get pushed) into Billiards and then you never get out again. 🙂

      Getty would be awesome but the place is so big I’ll probably have to do a series. I did a post on the Getty Villa a few years ago if you want to read that in the interim.

  2. Extremely entertaining and enjoyable fare. Your writing is quirky, honest, insightful, amusing and intelligent. I’ve much enjoyed everything I’ve read to date. As a writer, I appreciate your work. As a pool player, I appreciate your insights and overall knowledge of the game. Thank you for adding to my ever-expanding universe.


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