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Archives

• 2013 Majors

CSI POOL
BCAPL National 8-Ball Championships
Rio All-Suite Las Vegas Hotel and Casino
Las Vegas, NV
first time at the Rio (adios Riviera) and things get epic
 
INDEPENDENT EVENT
Hard Times 10-Ball Open
Hard Times Billiards
Bellflower, CA
just a lil pre-Vegas warm up tournament
 
INDEPENDENT EVENT
West Coast Challenge
$4,000 added One Pocket
$10,000 added 10-Ball
California Billiard Club
Mountain View, CA
last event at this location before they close (sadface)
 
INDEPENDENT EVENT
Cole Dickson Memorial 9-Ball
Family Billiards
San Francisco, CA
for legendary road player Cole Dickson
 
INDEPENDENT EVENT
Pots 'N' Pans Memorial 9-Ball
Pool Sharks
Las Vegas, NV
celebrating hustler Bernard Rogoff, better known as "Pots 'N' Pans"
 
THE ACTION REPORT
TAR35 | Dennis Orcollo vs Shane Van Boening
TAR Studio
Las Vegas, NV
second and third days
 
THE ACTION REPORT
TAR33 | Francisco Bustamante vs Alex Pagulayan
TAR Studio
Las Vegas, NV
second (1P) and part of third (10B) day
 
THE ACTION REPORT
TAR32 | Ronnie Alcano vs Jayson Shaw
TAR Studio
Las Vegas, NV
GREAT match • Andy Mercer Memorial 9-Ball Tournament coverage
 
INDEPENDENT EVENT
Chet Itow Memorial 9-Ball
California Billiards Club
Mountain View, CA
drank too much to do good coverage, but here it is, anyway
 
CSI POOL
Jay Swanson Memorial 9-Ball
Hard Times Billiards
Bellflower, CA
let Robocop show you how to run a six-pack, Citizen
 
THE ACTION REPORT
TAR31 | Mike Dechaine vs Shane Van Boening
TAR Studio
Las Vegas, NV
ALL HAIL THE HOVERCAT
 
THE ACTION REPORT
TAR30 | Darren Appleton vs Shane Van Boening
TAR Studio
Las Vegas, NV
the boys are back in town
 
 
10+1 INTERVIEWS
» Huidji See
» Donny Mills
 
 
EVERYBODY WAS KUNG-FU FIGHTING
the best kind of New Year's Sandwich
that's not okay
 
 
READER'S CHOICE
you know that I'm no good
on being a reasonable human being with realistic expectations
 
instasham series
stories from the distant and slightly-less-distant past
 
the only people for me are the mad ones
questions, tournaments, bets, running 26.2 miles

• LINKY LINKS

PARTY ANIMALS
The Action Report
purveyor of fine challenge matches between highly-skilled players of note
 
PUBLICATION
Cue Times Billiard News
Colorado's best resource for all things pool-related
 
CASE
Jack Justis Cases
the choice of champions
 
CUE
Sugartree Customs
made by Eric "Slower Than Snails" Crisp, if and when he feels like it
 
CUE
Tucker Cue Works
"If you feel the need to ask me how your cue is progressing every week then maybe there is a better choice of cuemakers out there for you."
 
MEAT
Kurzweils' Country Meats
yes, meat

10-Ball Junkie – 2007 Desert Dust Off, Phoenix

listening to
Carrie Underwood
“…right now, he’s probably dabbing on three dollars worth of that bathroom Polo…”

eating
a Kit Kat bar
gimme a break

obsessed with
candles and candleholders
I’m a chick who likes fire, what more can I say?

thanks
my very own Mother
I will use your donation wisely, for laundry quarters and various cleaning supplies

Requisite Slide Show

Gives Flinstones the 6. Look at all the colors!
Interesting vitamins.
Sold at the Walgreens on the corner.
Love the Southwest.
Visit sometime if you haven’t already.

Observations

At this fun little barbox tournament, I found the answer to one of (my) Life’s age-old questions–who is the dude who dresses up like Elvis to play pool? He was at the IPT Las Vegas, resplendent in metallic purple suit and slicked-back black pompadour. He was also at the 2007 Derby City Classic.

That dude, mi amigos, is Mr. Jim Weast [OK, 13th – $175].

What Would Elvis Do? Iraq. Ibreaq.

I apologize for the poor photo quality and thank Mr. Rick Schmitz for the nice photo on the left. The conditions for taking glorious glamour shots of the Elusive Billiards King with my cell phone camera were substandard.

This outfit featured BRIGHT RED SATIN triple-pleat pants WITH MATCHING JACKET, matching alligator shoes, and a white belt. You can clearly see the classic mutton-chop sideburns.

Do I have an opinion on this? I’m not sure. Napoleon put it best when he said, “From the sublime to the ridiculous is but a step.” Sublime? Ridiculous? I don’t know. Just hand me the Excedrin when you’re done with it.

Now, someone answer me: why is it that most Elvis impersonators choose to emulate Elvis in his peanut-butter-banana years and not in his chart-zooming hip-shaking years? Young Elvis was pretty hot. Older Elvis was–substantially less hot. And now we know all those Oklahoma sightings don’t count.

Shane Van Boening [SD, 13th – $175], you were dressed awfully spiffy for a bar tournament.

Doing business at the table.

I ain't scared of you, mister!

The first day, you had the Euro-Assasin look: black pants, black shirt, and black lizard belt with silver buckle. My roadtrip caravan of a pony, two hamsters, and a cricket (that’s me–I don’t bark, I chirp) wasn’t sure if you knew beforehand that this was a bar tournament.

You pleasantly surprised us the next day by manfully sticking to your guns, dressed in the light brown pants and crisp white dress shirt of My First Day Going For An MBA while the rest of us woke up, sniffed last night’s shirt and decided no one would object to the complex aroma of three different kinds of spilled beer, some Jack Daniels, cigarette smoke, chicken salad, and cold French fries–and even if they did, they smelled just like us, anyways. On Sunday, you broke out your best with a nifty, shimmery, color-changing maroon dress shirt. Very club-trendy. You and Stevie Moore could open a boutique.

I think you were the only person dressed in this semi-formal manner at the event. It definitely made you stand out, and I applaud your efforts (however futile) to bring up the fashion level of barbox pool.

I am assuming you dressed for your own (and perhaps your sponsors’) satisfaction, as I am not sure you were looking to impress a slightly sunburned male pool player somewhere between the age of 30 and 55, with a mild-to-extreme keg belly–the chief demographic of the event.

You are hereby declared to be Best Dressed, simply because you didn’t look like the rest of us. And you didn’t look like Elvis.

A Thank You to Erik “Bull” Vankyrwyk (hope I spelled that correctly) who ran a 120+ player tournament on SEVEN bar tables as best as it could be run. If you ever get tired of one of your shirts, you can give it to me. I will prop it up with a yardstick and live happily ever after in my Hustlin’-logo emblazoned teepee. We have already determined 3.64 persons of my size can live in it.

For those inquiring minds who want to know, the Olhuasen Desert All-Around Tour is open to all players, whether they are Arizona residents or not. The tour features many different games on both full-size and bar tables. Best of all, each tournament features 100% payback. There are tough players, and tough games, but if you win, you win a good chunk of dough.

That's Bull.
Do NOT mess with the tournament director.

Finally, Arizona Highway Patrol, we’re NOT SORRY for going 75 in a 60 zone! We LIED! TOTALLY HUSTLED YOU!! Hahahaha!

Overheard

“I had him scared. Then I broke, and he wasn’t scared no more.”
— Bill Moore, AZ

“There’s a hole in your shirt.”
“That’s because I flexed earlier.”

— unknown tournament participants

“Pool gives me gas.”
— unknown person at event

Collect them all!

There are three (3) cueballs hidden in this photo. Can you find them all?

In Parting

Barboxes are The Great Equalizer.

Chinese people don’t eat at the Chinese buffet next door–you probably shouldn’t either.

The sign’s not joking when it says “Next Rest Stop 42 miles”, so take it seriously.

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