Starfish vs. Snail

listening to
Metallica (a cover of Bob Seger)
“…on a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha…”

leftover fried catfish and potato salad
Southern food is the shiznit

obsessed with
Buddha taught that desires lead only to more desires: he who buys an iPod must also buy iTunes

Ms. Barbara Stock of Palmyra, NJ
I will terrorize the East Coast sometime this year in your honor

Mindless Consumerism

I made a pilgrimage to the world’s largest Abercrombie & Fitch store. It was quite magnificent, as you can see from the pictures below.

There were three levels, the first level was just for denim. A shrine to the blue jean (intentionally torn and weathered in the most artful manner–almost as if you did it yourself), if you will. The whole store was done in dark wood, low lighting, and glass vitrines. It was not unlike walking through an English manor haunted by polo shirts in every color of the rainbow. The dark wood and low lighting caused me to go disOriental several times, but right when I was about to descend into labyrinthine madness, I would inevitably be saved by a cheery sales associate behind a register.

I asked one of them, a pleasant young man, a question that had plagued me for years.

“Hey, does Abercrombie make anything in black? I’m always looking for a black polo shirt or a black tank top and they never seem to carry it.”

“Nope, Abercrombie doesn’t make any of its clothes in black. The closest they get is like a real dark charcoal grey, but it’s still not black.”

“Why don’t they make anything in black?”

“I don’t know, they just don’t.” [looks around surreptitiously] “I think I’m the only black item Abercrombie has.”

The bell tolls for thee. They shall be mine.
Great googly-moogly.

Only reason I went to work today.
A spiraling three-story staircase made of wrought-iron and glass blocks, illuminated below each step by neon lighting. I am so in love with this staircase. I MUST HAVE IT. (By the way, that figure in the lower center is a GIANT bronze statue of a preppy guy surrounded by preppy things.)
Yeah, right. Yeah, left.

Oh, you know you want to live here.
I wonder how much this Palace Of Preppy cost. I sometimes think it would be funny to take the store hostage and fling polo shirts out the windows while yelling, “Polo shirts for the tired and hungry masses! Polo shirts for all!”

Dark Side = A&F.
The painting to the left runs the height of the building and depicts preppy guys and girls doing preppy things like wearing polo shirts and staring at you in a manner that lets you know your BMW isn’t nearly as nice as theirs.

Dead Meat

I shot a little pool this weekend at a pool room with a very interesting choice of decor.

Por que no? Your eyes do not deceive you.
Look at Rudolph now.
The antlers have pool balls stuck on the ends. That’ll teach those reindeer to hold out on paying protection money.
Umm, yeah. It is what it is.
A bobcat head with pool balls stuck in it. I like this one a lot. It’s billiards with no rhyme or reason. “You know what’d be cool? A bobcat head.” “No way, dude!” “Way!” “Dude, it’d be cooler if we stuck pool balls on it!” “Totally! Right on!”

I was hoping to find a human head with a pool ball stuck in its mouth–but I was hoping for too much.

Strangely Familiar

Chomper. Wonker.
Uncle Nick Varner.
Gum chewer.
King Gene Wilder.
Gum supplier.

The Great Debate: Starfish vs. Snail

Etoile de mer. Escargot.


An interesting topic came up over dinner. Given the choice, would you rather eat a cold raw starfish or a cold raw snail? They are the same size and weight (but not small enough to for you to escape the luxury of chewing) and you are not allowed to smother it with any sort of sauce. If you are a member of AZ Billiards’ forum, you may vote in the poll. If not, feel free to note your choice in the comments section and your choice will be counted. I will post the results next week.

Bon appetit!

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