myeerh

reading list

In case you missed it, the TAR24 post went up on Friday.

In other news of the world, here’s some stuff foraged from the Intarwebs for you to read in your spare time. (All links open in a new window.)

  A Chicken War in New York, Where Afghans Rule the Roost
Abdul Haye, the self-styled Colonel Sanders of New York’s Afghan community, has declared a fried chicken war.
  Medical Mystery: When Sleep Doesn’t Come, Death Does
The disease steals one’s sleep, mind and ultimately one’s life, and, before dying, one hovers for months in a twilight world.
  Meringue Chemistry: The Secrets of Fluff
Chefs began whipping up meringue sometime in the early 1600s. The light-as-air confection is made by whipping egg whites and is used in a variety of desserts, such as Pavlova, macaroons and baked Alaska.

Long article of the week.

  Mengele’s Skull
It was during the Mengele investigation that the procedures and techniques of forensic identification of human remains were methodologically developed.

 

point & shoot

You point at the spot on the table to indicate that’s where you want the cueball to go after you shoot. Cool. Sometimes you point to it as a way of affirming and confirming to yourself that yes, that is where you want to be. What I don’t get is why you point to where you wanted to be after you shoot the shot and miss position by a nautical mile.

WTF?

Oh, that’s where you wanted to be? Right in front of the ball by about eight inches so that it’s a Stevie-Wonder-Can-Do-This shot? Really? You didn’t intend to miss position by 40 yards and then scratch in the side pocket? No way! I would never have guessed you wanted to be there instead of scratching!

You want to show off, point before you completely miss position. You look ridiculous after you f#ck up and then indicate to the audience that, hey — you didn’t intend to f#ck up. Really, you didn’t. It just sort of, you know, happened.

Whatever, dude.

Better yet, don’t point at all.

It’s lame.

 

what

When you miss position or a shot, why the f#ck are you looking at me? Do you think I care? Hell no. I’m your goddam opponent. I feel like you want me to say something comforting to you, but you forget — I’m your goddam opponent and trust me, I am NOT sympathetic to your cause.

Don’t look at me like you want me to say something. Looking is bad enough. If you want me to say something, you’d better not be pissed when I say, “Aww yeah! You done f#cked up!”

You now agree with me: Silence is best for everyone.

 

swag(ger)

Some friends of mine have been making hilarious comments about “swag”. I don’t know how to exactly define what they means by swag, but I think “swag” is short for “swagger” which is some newfangled term that is no doubt only known to people under a certain age. Some of their initial observations:

Swag is not calling heads OR tails but calling the edge. And getting it.

Swag is trying to 3 foul your opponent with just the 9ball on the table.

Swag is miscueing and looking at your tip.

These initial ones have spawned input from others and additional, more fantastical observations.

Swag is saying asking “Really?” to no one in particular.

swag is tapping the chalk to slow down the cueball

Swag is saying nice shot when you don’t really mean it.

Swag is giving out weight just because.

Swag is beating Efren Reyes with the 7-out… on the billiards table.

Swag is using 40 dollar chalk on a 10 dollar cue with a screw on tip.

Swag is using a jump cue on the snooker table.

Anyways, I usually just read these and chuckle because I have nothing to contribute and I’m not as funny as they are. However, I was able to contribute the following:

Swag is cheating and sharking to win, then offering lessons to the person you beat.

 

why yes

I played in a tournament recently. How did you know?

 

don't worry, lighter-hearted stuff coming later in the week

12 Replies to “myeerh”

  1. There are some pretty good players that point to the spot where the cue ball was supposed to be….

    My current reason for crankiness….begging for the 9-ball to go in off the snap, and then apologizing when it actually does. You know if you’re really sorry about it, then I’m happy to spot it and let you run out.

    Maybe that’s swag….making the 9 on the snap, but insisting on spotting it so you can run out.

  2. Sometimes I’ll point to my intended landing spot to help visualize exactly how much I need to correct. It’s not for my opponent, it’s just to quantify how much I screwed up lol.

    1. I can tell when someone is doing it to help themselves. I hate it when the player puts on a drama play after missing and turns around to the audience saying out loud, “Really?! Did you see that?”

      Yeah. We all saw it. And you’re looking mighty idiotic right now.

  3. I only know a few people who point to the spot with their cue before the shot. There’s one guy who puts his cue tip down on the spot on the table and then walks all the way around the table with the tip touching the spot the whole time.

    For some reason, I don’t really like it when people do that, but I don’t let it bother me. I don’t do it myself though. Just choosing and looking at the spot works well enough for me.

    Thankfully, it’s very rare that I’ve seen anyone do it after the shot. That is lame.

    1. It’s even worse when they stand there for a while looking at the point in disbelief, like the table and the balls cheated them or something. And then they look at me like I’m supposed to care.

      Hey, everyone screws up. You did. Now move on.

  4. I can never bring myself to point, I’m too self-conscience and I don’t like to look stupid when I miss. ‘Bout the only thing I ever did was once a player that thought he was better than me offered me “pointers” after we finished (or actually, after “He finished”). He lost 7-0, afterwards I asked for “those pointers” and smiled, He gave me a nasty glare. Other than that one time I’d just rather win. I have found that some billiard circles humility and a smile can cause your ass-hat opponent great pain, and besides there may come a time that they beat you… and pay backs really suck

  5. I’m guilty as charged. At times I do point at the spot where I wanted the cue ball. It is just me, talking to myself and saying, “That is where the ball should have been. WTF did I do wrong?”
    I get that out of my system and quickly move on to “What do I do now?”
    You could call it my mental process of moving from screwing up to moving on. Once I move on, I don’t look back and that bad shot doesn’t linger with me.

    Yes, I know I am unstable.

    1. As long as you don’t stand there with a skull in your hand and start delivering a soliloquy about the pointlessness of life, we’re all good.

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