til human voices wake us and we drown


I traded this for cookies. in this issue of OMGWTF

comics & videos & time-killing links
weekly reading assortment
TAR reminder
nothing ever changes
and please do not forget
fill in the blank



Things That Have Recently Made Me Happy
things could be worse, they could be lutefisk

Comics: x k c d
Amusing and charming.

Food: Dessert
There is always time for something sugary.

so perfect for summer

I also happened to see a Korean BBQ catering truck which are fairly recent developments in the world of mobilized cuisine. I didn’t get to try it but I will the next time I see it.

not your average roach coach

Send your toothsome food photographs to me via email.

YouTube: Simons’ Cat!
One of my favorite animators has just finished a new film short.


Internet: Fancy Fast Food

These photographs show extreme makeovers of actual fast food items purchased at popular fast food restaurants. No additional ingredients have been added except for an occasional simple garnish.


Internet: Insanewiches

Insane sandwich fun! That’s right, now you can break up your day by being the sandwich shrink and diagnosing how loony you think each sandwich is! The higher the score you give it, the crazier it is!


Random: Interesting* articles to pass the day

Mexican drug lords sport flashy, goofy nicknames

Photo Essay: The Most Alien Landscapes on Earth
Amazing photographs.

McD’s Happy Meal turns 30
Feel old yet?

Somebody Call Officer Crumb!
How much cash can you cram into a cereal box?



The Action Report & OB Cues present
Shane Van Boening vs Scott Frost

From The Action Report website:

TheActionReport.com and OB Cues are proud to present Shane Van Boening vs Scott Frost in a $5000 per man Bar Table 9 Ball Challenge match. This match will take place at Big Dog Billiards in Des Moines, Iowa on July 31, August1 and August 2.

The format is Bar Table 9 Ball, winner break, rack your own, race to 150. The schedule for the event is as follows:

Friday July 31: Play until one player wins 50 games.

Saturday August 1: Play until one player reaches 100 total wins.

Sunday August 2: Play until someone reaches 150 total wins and takes the $10,000 winner take all prize.

Play will begin at 7:00 PM Eastern Time all three days. This match will be available to watch live via streaming pay per view on TheActionReport.com. Big Dogs Billiards will also be selling general admission and a limited amount of VIP seats for those who wish to watch this epic match up in person. For information on seating please contact Big Dogs Billiards at (515) 262-6523.

Scott Frost from Phoenix, AZ. is known as one of the top one pocket players on earth and will showcase his extremely powerful bar table game in this match up with former U.S. Open 9 Ball Champion Shane Van Boening. These two champions have a history of matching up on the small table and so far Scott is undefeated. Shane says that this time will be different.

Pay per view prices are: $25 for all three days, $20 for last two days, $15 for final day.

This should be a sight to see — don’t miss it!



nothing ever changes
just have to live with it

I’ve been out of commission lately due to a persistent microbe of some sort. However, I still managed to squeeze in a tournament here or there and even played passably well.

Last Friday, I played in a dinky barbox 8-ball tournament.

I drew TD for my first match. Some of you may remember this recurring character. He’s a nice guy, not a good player, and rather clueless when it comes to the game and its concepts. This was a race to 2 tournament and in the first game, I broke, ran out to the eight, and just missed it. I left the eight very close to the corner pocket. TD alternately ran balls and played safes until he was down to just two ball. He opted to play safe and this was the layout I had:


I kicked two rails to make the eight-ball (yeah, yeah the lines are crooked but you get the idea).


Well, that shot was juuust dandy.

And that’s a great thing about eight-ball, you have to call the ball. So, when I make a shot like this, it’s quite apparent that I didn’t get lucky to make it. I made it because I knew how to make it.

In the next game, missed on my ball before the eight. TD ran all his balls and was left with this eight-ball shot:

oh no no no no no no

To my surprise, he hit the shot extremely softly and the eight-ball rolled tiredly until it settled just before the pocket. He had intended to cut the eight in, but it didn’t have enough power to actually make it to the pocket.

I rattled my last object ball, and TD won this game. Curious, I asked him why he had hit the eight-ball so lightly.

“Oh, it’s because if I hit it harder it’ll scratch.”

“Scratch where?”

“In the side pocket.”

“But you wouldn’t scratch in the side pocket unless you were drawing the ball. If you just hit that shot with follow, you have no worries of scratching.”

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,” said TD.

I flinched because I knew what was coming. TD has this annoying habit of saying “no” several times in a row to express utter and absolute disbelief. It also usually means he’s about to become extremely condescending. I’ve run into that bulls— from him before.

“No, no, no, no, no,” he continued, finally ending with a snort of laughter. Everyone knows you always scratch in the side on that shot. EVERYONE.”



REALLY, you f—ing know-it-all?!

I said very gently, “I can cut that ball and not scratch. A lot of people can. It’s about the angle — if you use a little follow, your cue ball goes forward and should never even approach a side-pocket scratch as long as you’re not shooting it with some sort of crazy spin.”

“Oh no, it’ll scratch.”

“No, it won’t. If you scratched before, it was because you were hitting low on the ball. Were you?”

“Well… yes… but that doesn’t make a difference.”


“Yes it does! It does make a difference! It brings the cue ball back and that is why you scratch in the side!”

“No it doesn’t, everyone scratches on that shot.”

I was about to argue my point again when a light bulb went off in my head. You know, the one marked, “Hey, Stupid!” I came to a conclusion about several things, all at once.

It is not my duty nor my right to enlighten TD. If he wants to learn more or improve, he’ll do it himself. I certainly don’t like it when others try to enlighten me when I don’t want to be enlightened. I thought he would take my observations into consideration because I am the better player. But, it doesn’t matter how well I play. In his eyes, I am not a pool player and never will be — most likely because I am a girl.

And, finally, I should stop wasting my time looking for validation from idiots.

Abruptly, I said, “You know what? Never mind. I’m not a good pool player and I don’t know anything about pool.” I dropped the matter immediately, refused to address it again, won the next game and the match, and managed to enjoy the rest of my evening.

I know how I play and what I am capable of.

F— what everyone else thinks.



and please do not forget

…is now the permanent home of my blog. No updates will be posted to other sites so update your RSS feeds and/or bookmarks accordingly. And, thanks for reading! It makes me feel like I’m contributing something to the world of billiards — even if it is mostly just pointless ranting.



fill in the blank
do be do be doo…


“The best pool advice I ever received was __________ .”


Put your answers in the comment section!



26 Replies to “til human voices wake us and we drown”

  1. “Don’t ever get down on a shot until you have decided exactly what you want to happen. Then don’t shoot the shot until you are ready to execute properly. If you think you might to miss, guess what? You’re going to miss.”

  2. Speed control is the most important thing in pool and will allow you to achieve extremely high levels of play.

  3. Best pool advice……

    You’re opponent can’t win from his/her chair, as long as you’re standing, you’re winning.

  4. The best pool advice I ever received was …
    …don’t worry about missing the shot, just focus on executing your hit properly.

    1. I find that as I play more, I focus very much on the “hit” of a shot and the feedback from it as well.

  5. Best pool advice I have gotten over the years:

    Go with your natural rhythm or pace. develop a routine (usually with the chalk). stay down till whitey stops moving. and take most advice with a grain of salt. Cheesy i know.

    Gratz on the two-railer, hard enough to make that shot without his balls blocking your path

    The biggest mixed blessing about pool halls is that they are frozen in time. Well except for the exciting stuff TAR is doing for this fair sport (and you of course!). Sorry to hear that TD doesn’t understand how the tangent line applies to pool, or what bottom/top does to it. Hopefully its because he hasn’t been playing for very long…

    And hopefully you feel better soon.

  6. Perhaps TD was trying to say he could scratch cross corner (on the other “side” of the table)? I know it would be my concern on a bar table with a heavy cue ball. A medium cut shot with outside English might help prevent the cross corner scratch, but it can be tougher to get the object ball to roll well than with inside English or center cue ball.

        1. I think he might have just wanted to be contrary/argumentative. In any case, once I decided not to talk about the shot anymore, he decided he wanted to talk about it after all. Of course, I declined to do so, and in the future, I won’t discuss pool with him if I can help it.

          He’s happy where he is.

      1. maybe u should offer to teach TD for $60 an hour . . . or demonstrate that shot 3 times for $30 per shot . . . hungry asians’ gotta eat too!

        1. I am fairly sure he wouldn’t take lessons from a chick. Also, I think he may be the kind of person where teaching him might be frustrating because he’s the kind that already knows everything. To my knowledge, he doesn’t gamble and if he did, I doubt it would be worth the trouble.

    1. By your diagram, it looks like a cross corner scratch might be nothing to worry about. But if the 8 was slightly closer and the cue ball was heavy or the table has a tilt toward the end rail, then it could be a worry.

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