You know you’re a pool nut…

When people stop asking, “What are you doing tonight?”

When you spend more time at the pool hall than at work, school and home combined.

When your laundry room smells like a pool hall.

When everyone in the pool hall knows your name (even if you don’t know theirs).

When closing time doesn’t apply to you.

When your cue travels with you regardless of your plans for the evening.

When you sleep in the pool hall for a few hours instead of going home.

When you own more than one book about pool (or Zen for all that).

When you have pool-related dreams.

When things outside the pool room are referred to as “strong”, “rough action”, or “sporty”.

If you’ve ever said anything along the lines of “McDonald’s gives Burger King the 7”.

When people in the pool hall get worried that you weren’t there the night before.

When you’re in the pool hall on holidays.

When the thought of dating a non-pool player is insane to you.

When the first place people look for you is at the pool hall.

When people call the pool hall even though they have your cell phone number.

When you go through withdrawals if you didn’t play pool that day.

When you go to an out-of-town tournament and as soon as you get back in town, you go to the pool room instead of home.

When its 5 a.m. and you’re at the local diner because youre still up from the night before.

When you turn your non-pool playing friends into pool addicts.

When you start seeing pool as life instead of a game.

When you are still talking about pool on the way home.

When you use a cigarette box to represent the table when talking about a shot you had.

When you use anything remotely rectangular to represent the table while talking about a shot you had.

When skittles kinda look like a nine ball rack.

When you see a pool table on TV the urge to go play is worse than the urge to smoke when you see someone light up.

When a bridge is no longer something you drive over, a bank is not a building full of money, a tip is not something you leave a waiter, a diamond is not a jewel, firewood is not a log, draw has nothing to do with a piece of paper, chalk is not found in a classroom, powder is not for hygiene, you may have pockets in your pants, but they are not the important ones, a rack is not on a girl’s chest, a shaft is not a penis, and balls are NEVER hairy.

And when you shake your head while reading this.